


紅葉 - autumn leaves

by akinoris



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Editor Akaashi Keiji, First Meetings, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pharmacist Konoha Akinori, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28594233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akinoris/pseuds/akinoris
Summary: “You only like him because he’s a book nerd, like you,” retorts Konoha.Akaashi blinks. “Yeah, well. I wish he was a pharmacist,” Akaashi hums. “Maybe I’ll be even more attracted to him.”
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Konoha Akinori
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	1. the beginning

It’s not like Konoha had never seen weird sick people before -- it comes with the job, he supposes. This customer is an exception, however. Never in his life has he ever seen a hair spiked up like that before. His friend is no different: bed hair so dishevelled that he looks worse than someone who’s critically ill. 

Bed-haired man is holding him by the waist while the owl has his arms around his shoulder. The owl in question is limping. 

Ah, he wonders what’s the story behind the injury. 

As they reach the counter, Konoha makes sure to strike his friendliest smile - despite it being 10 minutes to closing time - because he’s a nice human being. He’s not going to let his annoyance lose him potential customers. “What can I do for you gentlemen today?” he asks softly, because he’s friendly like that. 

“Dude, you will not _believe,”_ the owl tells him and Konoha quirks his brows at the informality. “So we did this challenge where we reenact my favorite scene from my favorite owl movie-” 

_Of course_ , Konoha thought. _An owl movie._

“Then I was jumping from the top of the stairs, and I think I broke or sprained my ankle or something. Do you think you can get it checked?” 

Konoha’s brow is still raised, and he doesn’t think it’s going down anytime soon. “I’m not a doctor, I’m just a pharmacist,” he says matter of factly. “I think you should get that checked first.” 

“Where?” the owl asks. Konoha can feel his eyes twitching and the bed-haired man is snickering at the side. 

“At the hospital, of course.” Konoha tries to not sound so condescending— he is a nice person after all. “I can only supply you with bandages and perhaps some cream or ointment to lessen the swelling, but before that, you need to get that x-rayed.” 

The owl blinks. Then he turns to slap his friend in the face. “Kuroo, you jackass! Why didn’t we think of that!” 

“You insisted on going here, Bo. You brought this upon yourself.”

Konoha has had his fair share of weird customers, but surely they have to be two of the oddest ones. They look about his age, too. _Perhaps_ , Konoha thinks, _maturity does not have anything to do with age._

Before _Bo_ could retort to what _Kuroo_ had told him, the door bursts open, letting in a man in a suit, tie loose around his neck, half of his shirt tucked in and the eyes that’s hidden behind the glasses that can only be described by Konoha as one thing: _murderous_. 

The two men in front of him look at each other with equal fear and Konoha wants to laugh so bad but he can’t. Because he is an _adult_ and he is _mature_ and he is a _professional._

“Bokuto-san,” the man at the door says through gritted teeth, gripping on the handle of the door. Konoha swallows. “Care to explain what the hell happened to our apartment?” 

Konoha’s amused because the man sounds rather composed and formal albeit a bit impolite, despite his murderous eyes. But if there is one other word Konoha would use to describe the man, it’s _cute_. 

Yeah, he’s kind of cute. 

“It was Kuroo’s idea!” _Bokuto_ says. 

“Me?!” Kuroo lets him go and Bokuto lets himself fall on the counter. “I told you to reenact Titanic but you called me a wuss and insisted on _flying,_ ” Kuroo says, gripping his hair. “As if you could fly in the first place!” 

“If I’m going down,” Bokuto replies emotionally, gripping Kuroo’s shoulders. “You’re going down with me, bro.” 

Yeah, this is a wild night for Konoha. 

“Bro, if Akaashi’s planning murder.” _Akaashi,_ Konoha notes to himself. “I’d rather if he plans on murdering _just_ you.” 

“Kuroo, you backstabber, how could you do this!” 

“Bro, look at Akaashi!” Kuroo exclaims, pointing to Akaashi who has his arms crossed, lips in a thin line, unimpressed and unfazed. 

“I’m not murdering anyone,” he finally says, followed by a sigh. “Not yet at least.” 

He joins Bokuto and Kuroo at the counter and falls down to one knee to inspect Bokuto’s ankle. “It looks really swollen,” Akaashi hums. “Let’s just go to the hospital.” 

“Akaashi,” Bokuto whispers. “You’re not mad?” 

“I’m furious,” he replies. “But I’d rather we talk about this instead of bothering this pharmacist.” 

Konoha perks up when he’s mentioned and waves his hands dismissively. “You’re keeping me rather entertained, I don’t mind.” 

Akaashi blinks and gives him a curt nod before getting up to his feet to straighten his suit. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience these two gave you.” 

Kuroo and Bokuto let out an offensive _hey_ and Konoha laughs. “Nah, really, I don’t mind. If you want, I could prepare some bandages and stuff like that. To help with the swelling.” 

Akaashi furrows his brow. “I’m sure we can get them at the hospital.” 

Konoha shakes his head. “You’re already here, right? It’s better than to leave empty handed.” 

Akaashi smiles while Bokuto and Kuroo share a knowing look. “Thank you, that’s very nice of you.” 

The pharmacist laughs and makes his way to the respective aisles to get his supplies. “It’s part of the job,” Konoha says dismissively. 

“You’re rather modest.”

Konoha scoffs. “I’m far from it, actually.” 

Konoha scans the items and tells them the total. _Of course_ it’s Akaashi who pays since Akaashi’s the most responsible one, and it turns out that both Bokuto and Kuroo left their wallets at home. Konoha isn’t surprised anymore. 

“I apologize again for the inconvenience.” 

“It’s alright. And get well soon, Bokuto.” 

Bokuto beams at that. “Thank you, pharmacist-kun!” 

“It’s Konoha,” he replies. 

Akaashi’s gaze lingers on him longer than the other two but Konoha shakes it off. With a loud goodbye from the two and a curt nod from Akaashi, they leave. Konoha follows from behind them to close the door and changes the sign from _open_ to _close._

\--

The next few days are rather uneventful. Only a few customers came in during the day to get the usual: condoms and lubes. Some got themselves pregnancy tests and Konoha would congratulate them almost all the time depending on their facial expressions— because Konoha is not one who assumes. No, no, he is a nice human being. 

Konoha’s at the grocery store, scanning the aisle of chips and he decides to snatch some spicy potato chips. He throws them in his basket and walks towards where the chocolates are. 

“Konoha-san?” Konoha jumps a little at the sudden call of his name and he turns around to be met with Akaashi. He’s dressed in a comfortable sweater— hoodie covering his messy hair, a pair of sweatpants and slippers. He looks so comfortable. 

“Ah, Akaashi-kun.” Konoha smiles. “Fancy seeing you here.” 

“I didn’t know you live in this neighbourhood.” 

Konoha laughs softly and replies, “It’s kind of convenient to live near the pharmacy, don’t you think so?” 

Akaashi hums. “I suppose so.” 

He’s carrying a trolley filled with instant noodles, energy drinks and tons of snacks as well as chewing gum. Konoha raises his brow. “I hope that’s not what you consume on the daily,” he says, pointing to Akaashi’s choice in food. 

Akaashi looks down at his items, blood rushing to his cheeks changing his pale skin to light pink. “I barely have time to eat when I’m always rushing with deadlines and stuff, so like it or not, these are the only things I’m able to eat.” 

Konoha frowns. “That’s unhealthy, you know.” 

“I work out regularly.” 

  
“That doesn’t cancel it out!” Konoha laughs. “Have you had lunch yet?” 

Akaashi widens his eyes and turns to look at his ramens. “This is my lunch,” he says. 

  
Konoha shakes his head. “I meant real food, Akaashi,” 

The latter juts his lips out and Konoha wants to rip his hair out. _He’s so fucking cute,_ Konoha thinks to himself. 

“There’s a nice restaurant near the corner. Have you ever been there?” Akaashi shakes his head as a reply. “Would you like to go there?” 

“Right now?” 

“Yeah, right now.” 

“I kind of have a deadline.” 

“And when is that, exactly?” 

Akaashi bites his lips. “Thursday.” 

“Akaashi!” Konoha whines. “It’s only Tuesday!” 

“Yes, but I’d like to complete it as soon as possible.” 

“Borrow me an hour of your time,” Konoha says, eyes pleading. “Just an hour. You look like you need to re-energize.” 

Akaashi really looks like he was contemplating hard and Konoha was about to take back on the offer before Akaashi replies, “Sure, Konoha-san.” He smiles. “An hour to re-energize.” 

They sit in comfortable silence at the restaurant, silently scanning the menu. Konoha’s eyes keep stealing glances at the man in front of him. 

Unlike the dishevelled Akaashi that walked in his pharmacy looking like he’s about to burn Kuroo and Bokuto down to the ground, he looks rather calm and cool. Akaashi is not cute, Konoha concludes, because he’s actually _really_ pretty. His nose is sharp and pointy but cute, his brows are thick and bushy and his lashes are long. 

He’s _really_ pretty. 

“I’m assuming you’ve made up your mind about what to have because you’ve been staring at me for quite a while now, Konoha-san,” Akaashi teases, eyes never leaving the menu but Konoha notices the way his lips turn up slightly. 

“It’s not my fault you’re more interesting than the menu,” Konoha mutters under his breath. Akaashi lets out a chuckle and Konoha’s eyes widen in surprise. “You were not supposed to hear that.” 

“Why hide your thoughts, though? You don’t strike me as a shy person.” 

“Things change.” 

“Ah,” Akaashi smiles, turning the menu over. “I guess so.” 

The waiter came by to take their orders, then, and they began with small talks. Konoha learns that Akaashi is a year younger than him and that he went to Nekoma High. After graduation, he went to Meiji University in Tokyo to study literature and thus earned him a position as an editor at a local manga publisher. 

“I really wanted to be in the literature department,” Akaashi says in between bites. He orders himself a yakisoba and Konoha orders a tempura udon. “But the editing department is nice, too. My author is really fun and quite imaginative.” 

Konoha hums. “You seem content.” 

“It’s nice, really. You get to see all sides of people and how they perceive the world. It doesn’t get boring.” Konoha nods in agreement. “What about you, pharmacist-san?” 

Konoha lets out a small laugh and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “It wasn’t really my first choice,” Konoha sighs, stirring the straw of his watermelon juice. “I wanted to be a dentist, but whenever I think back about it, it doesn’t really make sense for me. Can you imagine me with a scalpel about to roam in your mouth, Akaashi?” Konoha shudders and Akaashi chuckles. “So I studied it and I happened to find that it’s not entirely bad, you know? And I happen to be really good at it, too.” Akaashi nods understandingly. “So here I am. I’ve been working there for three years now.” 

“That’s really interesting, Konoha-san.” 

Konoha perks up at that and beams. “Most people find it dull, though. You’re the first to tell me that.” 

“I don’t see anything dull about you.” Akaashi smiles. Really smiles and it’s soft and pretty and subtle but it’s there and it’s _pretty._ Konoha’s heart is racing and he can feel the heat rushing to his cheeks. 

“You know, you look dull but you’re actually really interesting, Akaashi.” 

“Not the first time I’ve heard that,” Akaashi admits and smiles teasingly. “I’ve been told I’m rather cold and heartless.” 

“That’s not the case, is it?” 

Akaashi hums. “Saying I’m heartless would be very far fetched. If I am what people perceive heartless, I won’t be feeling things right now as I’m having lunch with you.” 

Konoha stares at him and the latter has the _audacity_ to slurp his soba like he did not just drop the biggest bomb in Konoha’s life. 

“Good things, I hope.” Konoha smirks and Akaashi smirks _back_ with a playful glint in his eyes.

“They’re really wonderful, Konoha-san.” 

\--

It’s quiet when Konoha opens the pharmacy save for a couple of pigeons littering around in the empty streets. He takes in a deep breath of fresh cold air, taking comfort in the smell of the streets after the rain the previous night. 

He walks to the store room to grab a broom and starts sweeping every aisle. He hums to Pocketful of Sunshine while it blasts in his earphones, swaying his hips from side to side. 

_“Take me awayyyy,”_ he sings, using the top of the broomstick as his microphone. _“A secret plaaaace, a sweet escapeeeee.”_ He swings his head side to side, pointing to the vitamin Cs on the aisle. _“I got a pocket got a pocket full of-”_

Turning around, he blinks at the amused man in front of him. Akaashi has a big smile on his face with his hands in his sweater. His lips are moving but Konoha doesn’t have the guts to take off his earphone, letting Natasha Bedingfield sing to him while he tries to recover from his embarrassment. 

The music fades and Konoha finally - _finally -_ takes off his earphones. Akaashi is still smiling at him teasingly. “Good morning, Konoha-san. Will I be seeing a lot more of that performance?” 

Konoha snorts. “You wish, Akaashi.” 

Akaashi chuckles and lets out a soft wince. “You alright?” asks Konoha. 

“I actually came here to get some medications.” 

“Of course, this is a pharmacy after all.” 

Akaashi rolls his eyes while Konoha walks to the counter, putting on his white coat in hopes that that will help Akaashi look at him as an _actual professional_ pharmacist, not as an adult who sings bops from the 2000s. 

“What do you need?” 

Akaashi slips him a paper folded neatly in half. Konoha scans it and his eyes widen in surprise. “This is a high dose,” he whispers as Akaashi scratches his cheeks with his index finger. 

  
“The doctor recommends it,” 

“I can see that. But this is still a high dose,” Konoha replies, voice laced with concern. “How long have you been taking this?” 

“About a month or so.” Konoha walks to the shelf of prescribed medications behind him. “It’s been helping, more or less.” 

Konoha shakes his head and takes the box of ibuprofen. “It’s not healthy for you to rely on medications, Akaashi. Did the doctors tell you that?” 

Akaashi nods. “I try to not eat them daily. Only when my migraines make me want to kill myself.” 

Putting the medication in a brown bag, Konoha hands them to Akaashi and the latter mutters out a thanks. “Don’t overwork yourself, Akaashi.” 

The younger gives him a soft smile. “No promises. Thank you, pharmacist-san.” 

\--

As promised, Akaashi meets him again the next few days for dinner. They’ve been texting back and forth, from morning to night. Akaashi would disappear for a few hours but when he comes back, it’s always with an apology saying that he has lost himself in one of his drafts again. It’s a routine that Konoha got used to in a disgustingly short time, but he doesn’t mind. Let people call him whipped, so what. He really likes Akaashi and maybe, just maybe, Akaashi likes him back. 

They agreed to meet each other at a local izakaya near the pharmacy, so Konoha waits ever so patiently. Akaashi comes running to him, five minutes late, and apologizes profusely. Konoha rolls his eyes and pulls him into his chest - despite being shorter - and lets out a chuckle saying, “You’re really cute when you’re babbling, Akaashi, but I told you I don’t mind waiting for you.” He could feel Akaashi mumble into his chest and he lets him go, fixing his hair and glasses. 

_Cute,_ Konoha thinks to himself. 

They walk together, arms linked, their chats animated. It’s a nice night. The wind is blowing softly and the moon is half hidden behind the thin clouds and Akaashi looks absolutely _breathtaking_. Konoha thinks it’s a sin. 

Their conversations never die down. Akaashi, despite being a man of a few words, is in an intense discussion about his favourite author and book (Konoha has read some of the books he read and he feels proud of himself for that). They got into talking about animes they watched when they were both in their teenage years as well. 

“I honestly think Chrollo is a better villain than Hisoka,” Akaashi deadpans. “He’s attractive and smart and perceptive-” 

“You only like him because he’s a book nerd, like you,” retorts Konoha. 

Akaashi blinks. “Yeah, well. I wish he was a pharmacist,” Akaashi hums. “Maybe I’ll be even more attracted to him.”

Konoha chokes on his beer, coughing behind his hand. “What the fuck- you’re so _smooth._ ” Konoha laughs. “Did you learn how to flirt from all the mangas you edit, Akaashi?” 

Akaashi snorts. “I write my own romance mangas, thank you very much.” 

It’s easy, Konoha thinks, falling into the flow of talking with Akaashi. They talk like they’ve known each other for _years_ and when Akaashi laughs at him as he tells him a really bad medicine pun he found on Google, Konoha thinks that he has found a piece that he didn’t even know was missing. 

“So, do you stay with Kuroo and Bokuto?” Konoha says. He bites into his ice-cream, earning a nose scrunch from Akaashi. 

“No,” he says, licking the ice-cream like a normal person. His free hand is linked with Konoha’s arms, holding onto his (surprisingly well shaped) biceps. “They’re just pests who like to stay there rent free.” 

Konoha snorts. “I know a few people like that, too.” His mind lets him think about Saru and Komi who are probably yelling at each other over who got to play the PS4 next. Konoha got only one controller for a reason. “But doesn’t it get lonely?” Konoha continues, looking up at the sky. 

“Lonely?” 

“Yeah,” Konoha hums, biting into his ice-cream again. “I always have Saru and Komi around that when they’re not there, the silence just gets really deafening.” He shudders and laughs. “I really don’t like feeling alone.” 

Akaashi blinks at him. “Have you never dated anyone else?” 

“There were a few,” Konoha shrugs. “I didn’t really enjoy it,” he lies. _They’re not you,_ is left unsaid. “What about you?” 

Akaashi shakes his head. “I’m not really fond of the whole dating thing,” _Oh,_ Konoha deflates. “But I do enjoy my time with you, Konoha-san.” Akaashi smiles, leaning in to kiss his cheeks. _Oh._

_Oh!_

“Your lips are sticky, Akaashi,” he says, flustered as Akaashi lets out an exasperated gasp. 

“You wound me, Konoha-san.” 

\--

Konoha drops him off the apartment and as they stand in front of the door, Konoha shuffles in his feet. “I had a good night,” Akaashi breathes out, causing Konoha to smile softly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I’m glad you did,” Konoha says eventually. “I was scared I might bore you to death, or something.” 

“You could never,” Akaashi smiles and Konoha’s heart stutters in his chest. 

He doesn’t even realize Akaashi is moving towards him, leaving just a little bit of space between them. Konoha’s eyes widen as he sees Akaashi leaning in, lips puckered out. He turns away causing Akaashi’s lips to fall on his cheeks instead. Akaashi pulls back, eyes equally wide and his cheeks and ears are painted bright red. 

“Uh,” Akaashi stutters. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” 

Konoha nods. “Sure. See ya, Akaashi.” 

“Goodnight, Konoha-san.” Konoha tries not to cringe at the sound of his voice, where disappointment and sadness were so evident. He watches as Akaashi disappears into the apartment complex and crouches down on the pavement. 

“Fuck.” 

\--

“I’m home,” Konoha announces. He knows the apartment is not empty since he can hear the sound of the movie on TV as loud as day. He can only hope that his neighbours don’t file a complaint. Komi and Sarukui are sprawled on the couch, answering him with just a hum. He takes out a can of beer from the fridge and falls on the floor near the couch. 

“How’d the date go?” Komi asks, munching on his cheetos. 

Konoha hums. “Was okay. Walked him home.” 

“And?” Sarukui presses on, knowing that there is something bothering his best friend.  
  


“He’s a really cool, funny guy.” 

Komi laughs and Sarukui shakes his head. They’re both sitting up properly now, clearly very interested in Konoha’s love life like they’re always are. “That’s not all,” Komi says. 

“I can feel your negative energy.” Sarukui shudders. “What did you mess up this time?” 

Konoha shrugs. “He leaned in to kiss me but I turned away, so he was kissing my cheeks instead.” 

Komi lets out a hiss and Sarukui sighs. “You’re such a fucking loser,” the latter says. “How long are you going to be like this?”

“It’s been years since Kaori--” 

“This isn’t about Kaori,” Konoha scoffs. “We broke things off, she moved on, I moved on.” He shrugs, talking big gulps of his beer. “Akaashi’s… different,”

This piqued Komi’s interest, judging from the way he moves in closer to Konoha. “Tell us about Akaashi then.” 

So Konoha lets himself rant, speaking for god knows how long, starting from the first day he met him at the pharmacy with Bokuto and Kuroo, to the day they met at the grocery store, and the way his heart stutters hearing Akaashi laugh at him and how much he had liked it, to his concerns about the latter’s health. 

Time passed by and by the time he finished re-telling them about his recent date, the room fell silent. Then Komi and Sarukui let out a long sigh. 

“You’re helpless,” Komi says, shaking his head. He gets up to the fridge to take out one (Konoha’s) beer. “Akaashi obviously likes you back,” he quips, popping open the can. “I’ve never met him but I bet he looks at you like you hold the stars or whatever it is that whipped bitches do.” 

“You’re a whipped bitch yourself,” Konoha snorts. 

“Suki is different, motherfucker,” 

Sarukui sighs and moves to sit next to his best friend. “Tell me, honestly,” he whispers. “Do you still think about Kaori?” 

Konoha rolls his eyes. “No,” he sighs. “I’ve moved on, I said.” 

“So what’s stopping you from getting Akaashi? Why didn’t you kiss him tonight when all the signals have been given?” Sarukui looks scary like this, Konoha notices. His smirk doesn’t really look like his usual playful ones and his eyes are dark - Konoha doesn’t know if it’s because of the light - and they look at him with such intensity that it causes Konoha to gulp.

“You’re holding back,” Sarukui says, leaning in closer. “Something’s stopping you and I’m sure that it’s you and your stupid fear and your stupid insecurities that you shouldn’t even be bothered with.” 

Konoha’s stunned, to be honest. But he expected this from Sarukui. He’s always the first person to slap Konoha back to reality, reminding him of all the things Konoha tends to always forget, especially things like this. 

Sarukui looks at Konoha who’s left rigid next to him and smiles - his usual smile now - satisfied with the brain damage he had caused. “You gotta stop living in the past, Aki. You gotta learn to love again, and Akaashi seems like he can help you with that.” 

  
  
  


\--

The next few days were even _more_ uneventful. Konoha doesn’t get a message from Akaashi, not a single _one._ But he suppose he understands. He, too, would be embarrassed if his date subtly - okay maybe _not_ subtly - rejected his kiss. Konoha sighs and cringes to himself, letting his head fall in his hands. There’s not much he can do now and there is really no one else to blame but himself. Somehow, he can hear Sarukui screaming at the back of his head, threatening him that if he overthinks anything to the point he breaks himself, he’s going to kick him out of his own home. 

Another few days pass by without a single word from Akaashi. Konoha looks at the contact, typing and deleting and typing and deleting again all the messages he had typed. This was ridiculous. He has no idea how to win Akaashi back. 

Konoha decides to just let it be and focus on work. There are documents in the back room that are begging to be finished and it’s half an hour to closing time, meaning he has 20 minutes to finish whatever paperwork he can finish at the moment and spend another 10 minutes cleaning up. 

_Ah,_ Konoha thinks to himself. _Why can’t you think like this when it comes to your love life?_

It’s exactly five minutes to closing time and he had just finished mopping the floor when the door bursts open. Konoha watches in agony as the freshly cleaned floor is now littered with wet footprints. 

Konoha bites the insides of his cheeks to stop any screaming from coming out of his mouth. He is a nice person after all, and he will serve this customer even if he’s close to committing arson. 

“Anything I can help you with?” Konoha sighs, dropping the mop into the bucket and he finally looks up to see a dishevelled Bokuto with his hair down and eyes filled with nothing but worry. Konoha can’t help but feel worried, too. 

“Bokuto?” 

“Konoha!” 

  
  



	2. the hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoha looks up to Bokuto then and his bright golden eyes burn into Konoha’s, causing yet another chill to run down his spine. “Do you really think that two broken souls can’t mend each other together?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: panic attacks, internalized homophobia, implied cheating. However, i have tried my best to filter them and not make anything too graphic as I do not want to overwhelm my readers. Please read with caution! 
> 
> Reminder to stay safe and take care of yourself everyone <3 it’s rough out there in the real world, but I am hoping that this is to prove that our future will be so much better.

Konoha, for the life of him, has never run so fast in his life. He closed the pharmacy in record speed, not able to ignore Bokuto’s antsy antics behind him and they ran together to the familiar streets. They took two steps at a time on the stairs and Bokuto opened the door to Akaashi’s place. 

Kuroo is already there, sitting on the floor next to where Akaashi is sprawled on the sofa  _ and he’s breathing, thank fucking god. _

“We came back from practice and noticed that he hasn’t moved an inch since we got back like three hours ago. He won’t even respond to us slapping him.” 

“Three hours,” Konoha says, venom evident in his voice. “ _ Three _ fucking hours, and none of you thought of bringing him to the hospital?!” 

Konoha didn’t mean to raise his voice, and he should apologise, but not now. Akaashi is his priority now. 

“We thought he was just napping!” Bokuto exclaims as Konoha turns on the flashlight on his phone and opens Akaashi’s eyelids. Konoha stops breathing. Akaashi’s eyes aren’t responding like how he was hoping it would. 

“We have to take him to the hospital,” Konoha whispers before yelling out, “Now!” 

  
  


\--

Kuroo and Bokuto left Konoha to talk to the doctors and what they told him was not a shock at all. Akaashi’s body has consumed too much ibuprofen. They suspect that he had been taking them too much in one day, and it made him black out. 

“He needs to avoid any sort of caffeine for a long period of time, preferably ask him to avoid it at all costs and we’ll be giving him a week of rest at least. As for the migraine, we would like him to avoid any sorts of medication as well. Given the current situation, you know how bad it will affect his body even if it’s meant to cure him.” 

Konoha nods, because of course he knows. He has warned Akaashi, too. 

“Will he wake up any time soon?” Konoha can’t help but ask. 

“He will. We have given him some IV drips which, hopefully, will help him re-energize. Are you the one taking care of him?” 

Konoha shakes his head. “He lives alone.” 

“Do you mind taking care of him for the next week?” 

Konoha bites his lips. He wasn’t going to tell the doctor  _ no, because I accidentally indirectly rejected him and I think it’ll be awkward if we were to stay in close proximity.  _ “Sure,” he answers instead. “With my line of work, I think I’ll be able to help.” 

“What do you do?” the doctor asks with a furrow of his brow.    
  
“I’m a pharmacist.” 

The doctor smiles. “Splendid,” he says, a wave of relief evident in his voice. “I’ll be putting him in your care, then.” 

\--

Konoha goes home for a while to freshen up and change into a more comfortable set of clothing. He had called off from work for a week as well, dedicated to taking care of Akaashi. If words can’t help him convince Akaashi how sorry he was for his idiotic actions, then Konoha’s hoping that his actions will help instead. 

He packs a spare toothbrush, a comb and small towels and puts them in a duffel bag with a few mangas (ones that Akaashi has helped edit, he makes sure he gets them quickly). He even brings a spare t-shirt and a sweater in case Akaashi needs them. 

By the time he reaches Akaashi’s room, Bokuto is lightly snoring next to a still blacked out Akaashi. 

Softly, he shakes Bokuto’s shoulder, waking him up. The latter jostles out of his sleep and Konoha blinks. Even waking up this man is chaotic. “You can go home, I’ll take it from here.” 

Bokuto smiles that blinding smile of his. “Of course you do, I trust you with his life. Though I’m still a bit upset with what he told me after your date.” 

Konoha tenses. Bokuto continues, his beaming smile gone. “He was really upset, Konoha. He wasn’t embarrassed or flustered, he was just straight up  _ upset.  _ He couldn’t get the memory out of his head. I  _ know _ , and Akaashi’s head is a jumbled mess of coherent and incoherent thoughts that just bully him to the point that he’s—” Bokuto pauses, then points his chin to where Akaashi is laying. “—like this.” 

“I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything, but I just want you to know how genuine Akaashi is and the feelings he has for you.” Bokuto picks up his gym bag and gives Konoha’s shoulder a hard pat. “I’m not threatening you, but if you have no good intentions with Akaashi, you can leave. Kuroo and I will take care of him.” 

“I appreciate the concern,” Konoha replies. “But whatever Akaashi’s feeling, just know that it’s mutual.” 

Bokuto’s beaming smile comes back and the tense in Konoha’s body is replaced with relief. “That’s good to know, Konoha!” he says, albeit too loudly. “I’m giving you another chance to fix whatever. Akaashi’s not  _ not  _ fixable, he just needs a strong support system.” 

“I know,” Konoha softly agrees, a smile playing on his lips. “I’ll take care of him from now on. You can relax.” 

“Hell, no!” Bokuto yells and he flinches when he realizes where they were. The nurses outside were already throwing him a glare. “Akaashi will always be my best friend  _ and  _ my top priority. Nothing you can do can change that.” 

“Cool,” Konoha replies, tired. 

“Aite, I’m taking my leave,” Bokuto says, adjusting the strap on his shoulder. “Take care of him, Konoha.” 

The door slides close and Konoha lets himself let out a long shuddering breath. That was… emotional. 

  
  


\--

It’s at three a.m. when Konoha feels Akaashi stir in his sleep. Slowly, he watches as Akaashi’s eyes flutter open, orbs moving to scan around the room, taking in where he was. He blinks slowly and finally,  _ finally, _ turns his head to look at Konoha. 

“Hey, sleeping beauty.” 

“I’m still asleep?” he rasps out. “Why is Konoha-san here?” 

Ah, he thought he was dreaming. Cute. “Konoha-san is here because he is taking care of you, Akaashi.”

“Are you my conscience?”

“No, Akaashi, I’m Konoha.” 

Akaashi pauses to scan his face and turns down to look at where his hand is being squeezed by Konoha. Feeling the pressure there, he realizes that this isn’t a dream. 

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Akaashi says, voice threatening even if it’s slurred and a bit intelligible, but Konoha understands. 

“Nuh-uh,” Konoha sings. “Now isn’t the time to be picky of who takes care of you, Akaashi-kun.” 

Akaashi wants to retort as he tries to get up but he yelps as he feels pain shooting to his head and he falls back into the bed. Konoha sighs and pulls the blanket to his chest, albeit earning a glare from the younger. For someone so pretty, Akaashi sure looks scary. It’s endearing. 

“You don’t have to be stubborn,” Konoha says, fluffing the pillow and turning it over so Akaashi can lay on the cold side. “Let me take care of you - doctor’s orders - but if you’re still uncomfortable with me, I can simply call Bokuto and Kuroo back for you,” he adds softly, trying to not sound so glum. 

“Let me just—“ Konoha sighs. “Let me take care of you. And if you want, when you get better, we can talk about what happened.” He sits back down and finally forces himself to look at Akaashi’s face. It was as straight and impassive as always, and Konoha feels like his guts have been punched. Multiple times. 

“Okay.” Is all Akaashi replies before he closes his eyes again. 

\--

The next day, upon hearing Akaashi’s speedy recovery, he’s allowed to go home later in the evening. The doctor reminds Konoha that Akaashi needs to be taken care of and watched like a hawk. Konoha reminds himself to tell the same thing to Kuroo and Bokuto. 

Akaashi hasn’t spoken to him yet, and they’re left in the silence of the room after the doctors and nurses are done assessing him. He eats his food slowly in silence, ignoring Konoha’s gaze on him and the only way he answers is with a curt nod and sometimes with just a soft “yes” when Konoha asks him if he’s feeling alright. 

Bokuto comes in the afternoon with his beaming smile and his eyes sparkling, excited to see that his best friend is okay. He pulls Akaashi in for a tight hug and Akaashi  _ laughs, _ telling him that Bokuto is killing him. 

Akaashi actually talks to Bokuto and Konoha tries to hide his pain, because now he got confirmation that Akaashi  _ is  _ ignoring him. He gets up and takes a pack of cigarettes from his bag then pockets it. 

“I’m gonna go out for a while,” he announces. The two just nod and get back to talking - Bokuto doing most of it - while Akaashi listens and chimes in when he feels it necessary, either to praise him or make fun of him til Bokuto lets out a whine of “Aghhaasshee”. 

Making his way to the smoking area, he’s met with Kuroo. “Fancy seeing you here.” Kuroo smirks, puffing out smoke out of his nose. “Isn’t smoking something pharmacists should avoid?” 

“I would say the same thing for professional athletes,” Konoha bites back and Kuroo barks out an obnoxious laugh. 

“Touche, buddy. C'mere.” 

Konoha goes as told. He takes out his cigarette box and puts a stick in his mouth. Kuroo offers to light it for him and he complies. Konoha sucks in a thick smoke, then puffs it out with ease, wishing that the heaviness in his heart leaves with the smoke too. 

“Akaashi treating you harshly?” Kuroo says with a hint of amusement. 

“Yeah.” Is all Konoha replies before he takes another long drag and repeats his actions. He taps the stick lightly, letting the ashes fall in the tray. “I really messed up during our date.” 

“Why did you do it?” 

Konoha shrugs. “I’m a wuss, basically.” He leans on the railing, and as Kuroo furrows his brow Konoha takes it as a cue to continue. “During my third year of high school, I dated this really amazing girl,” he says, smiling as he remembers Kaori. “I pined on her for two whole years and finally had the guts to ask her out during my graduation. My  _ graduation.  _ She still accepted it even though we’ll be apart because I’ll be studying in Fukuoka and she’ll stay here in Tokyo. We made it work, though. We dated all through college and she was the best I ever had.” Konoha can’t help but smile as he reminisces. 

“Kaori was the first girl I ever loved. I cherished her so much to the point that I was going to propose to her after I graduated from college. My friends stopped me, though, telling me not to rush into things but I know I would lay my whole life for her.” 

“Six years into our relationship and by then I knew her by the back of my hand. I noticed the slight change in her tone, how she greeted me, the scarce texts. AndI thought I’d ignore it because, you know, I thought she might be busy. She moved to Osaka, then, and she actually moved there to be closer to me. So the train ride wouldn’t be  _ too  _ long. But when she moved, her whole demeanour changed.” 

Konoha lights up another cigarette. “When I asked her about it, she shook me off, telling me she’s tired from moving. So I gave her time to adjust and everything. We didn’t talk for two weeks, and that’s when I got the news.” Konoha laughs bitterly and shakes his head. “She was fucking some other guy. Some bastard named Terushima or whatever. I don’t know why, but hearing it from herself made it worse. And that time I wish someone else had told me.” Konoha sighs. The new cigarette in between his fingers now is only half a stick and Konoha sighs again. He barely smoked this one. 

“That was three years ago, though.” He shrugs. “I’ve moved on, yeah, but I can’t say for sure that the pain she left me with is gone too.” 

Taking a last drag of smoke, Konoha gets rid of his cigarette bud and is left in silence while Kuroo looks at him contemplatively, a hint of sympathy in his golden eyes. “I’m not being biased here, but you know Akaashi won’t be like that, right?” 

Konoha nods. “I don’t think Akaashi is like her at all,” he offers. “I know Akaashi is different— everyone is. But I can’t help it, Kuroo.” 

“Did you think Akaashi was taking things too fast for you?” 

The latter blinks at Kuroo, processing his words. “Yeah,” he breathes out. “I think so, yeah.” 

“You’re still healing, right?” 

“It’s been three years,” Konoha scoffs. 

“Healing takes time.” Kuroo shrugs nonchalantly. “I had a boyfriend. My childhood best friend and my high school sweetheart.” 

“What happened?” 

Kuroo laughs, which lacked the usual enthusiasm. “A middle blocker with orange hair and personality as obnoxious as Bo happened, I’ll tell you that.” 

Konoha’s eyes widen. “You got left for another person, too?” 

“Love means making sacrifices sometimes,” Kuroo quietly says, eyeing the view in front of them. The street is bustled with people - a usual occurrence in Tokyo - and the traffic is as heavy as ever. Konoha somehow finds comfort in it and in Kuroo’s words as well. “But the sacrifice doesn’t necessarily have to be our happiness.” Konoha stiffens next to him. “Give Akaashi a chance. Let him remind you what being in love feels like.” He turns to Konoha until his eyes are fully on him. 

“He’ll make you want to love again, Konoha.” 

\--

When they make it back to Akaashi’s room, the younger scrunches his nose in disgust and glares at Kuroo. He didn’t even spare a glance at Konoha. 

“Have you been smoking, Kuroo-san?” 

Kuroo shrugs, a playful smile on his lips. “Just one,” he lies. “I’ll keep my distance, ‘kay?” 

Bokuto frowns. “Bro, I told you not here,” 

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo apologizes, defeated. “The vibes here just ain’t right.” 

Feeling awkward, Konoha moves to go elsewhere, not wanting to ruin the mood Akaashi has with his friends. But before he can move, Bokuto’s voice calls out to him. “Sit here for a while.” 

Konoha shakes his head. “I also smoked a little. don’t want to make Akaashi uncomfortable.” 

“That’s really ironic,” Bokuto comments, laughing. “A pharmacist smoking. That’s something.” 

“This rooster smoked as well, and he’s a professional athlete.” Konoha frowns, not liking how he’s being thrown under the bus. He could see Akaashi fighting off a smile. 

“You don’t mind Konoha staying here right, Kaashi?!” 

“Please don’t scream, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi warns and he locks eyes with Konoha for a second before turning to look at his best friend again. “I suppose I don’t mind him here.” 

_ Ouch?  _

“Right…” Konoha mutters, walking to sit on the sofa near Akaashi’s bed. After that, Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi fall into an easy conversation. Bokuto and Kuroo didn’t forget to include Konoha in the conversation once in a while. 

“Did you tell Akaashi yet, Bo?” Kuroo asks, nudging at his friend. Bokuto lets out a loud whine and smacks his forehead, hard. 

“Tell me what?” the younger questions, eyes blinking as he sips his milk. 

“We’re going to start travelling again next week, Keiji,” Bokuto informs him, sitting on Akaashi’s bed sitting close to him. Akaashi seems to tense. 

“For how long?” 

“About two weeks. It won’t be long! I’ll be home in no time!” Bokuto winces, knowing that his reassurances don't sound too convincing even to himself. Konoha watches as Akaashi’s face falls. A small frown begins to form on his lips and he looks so close to crying and  _ oh, he’s actually crying.  _

Slowly, Bokuto pulls him in a tight hug, rubbing his back in circles. Konoha suddenly feels like he’s interrupting something so intimate. Did Akaashi and Bokuto-

“Hey, hey, Keiji! You can’t cry every time I leave, it makes it hard for me ya know?” Bokuto teases and Akaashi is full on sobbing in his embrace now. “You won’t be alone, ‘kay? Konoha will be here to take care of you. I promise you won’t be alone.” 

“Koutarou, you know I need you here,” Akaashi cries, hiccuping at almost every word. “I get these nightmares when you  _ go  _ and I  _ can’t  _ Koutarou.”

“I told you, you won’t be alone Keiji,” Bokuto says, kissing the top of Akaashi’s head. Konoha’s entire body feels hot. “Konoha is here, okay? I trust him to take care of you. And when I come back, we’ll get more onigiri!” 

“Promise?” Akaashi asks, voice so, so soft and so broken. 

“I always do that, don’t I?” 

He can see Kuroo eyeing him from afar, trying to read his posture and his face. It’s as if asking him if he’s okay. Konoha stares back at him, reassuring him he’s okay with a soft smile. Kuroo taps Bokuto’s back and points his chin to Konoha.  _ Oh, right!  _ He mouths.    
  


He pulls Akaashi back and wipes the younger’s tears with his thumb. “You’ll be okay, Keiji! You always will be, alright?” 

A soft nod from Akaashi is enough to lighten up Bokuto’s face. Kuroo takes Bokuto’s place by distracting Akaashi with more biscuits and fruits while Bokuto takes the opportunity to signal Konoha to meet him outside. 

Konoha follows. 

Sliding the door close behind him, Konoha looks at Bokuto’s almost fading back and runs to him. How can this guy walk so fast? And,  _ wow _ , Konoha’s already panting despite jogging a short distance. He needs to return to the gym. 

It’s quiet for a while before Bokuto speaks up. They’re now sitting on one of the benches at the hospital's garden. The sound of the trees being blown softly by the wind brings Konoha at peace. 

“Kaashi and I have been best friends since we were kids. Attached to the hips, I tell you,” Bokuto says with a smile. What is it with everyone reminiscing today? “We were really,  _ really,  _ close, and not gonna lie, I think Kaashi had a crush on me before but I think he just cares about our friendship more.” 

“What about you?” Konoha finds himself asking. 

  
Bokuto smiles at him, soft and lazy. “Volleyball, man.” 

“So you really have no romantic attraction towards him?” 

Bokuto hums, tapping his chin in thought. “I don’t think so? My head has always been full of volleyball, training everyday, exercising, busy staying in shape and planning my diet— I really have no time to think about relationships and all that. I don’t think I’ve ever liked anyone in my life!”

The way he says it enthusiastically brings a big smile to Konoha’s face. To think that someone can act like this is so interesting and refreshing. “Have you never thought of settling down? Have your own family?” 

Bokuto scrunches his nose. “I’m planning on playing volleyball with no other commitments til I’m 130 years old, at least!” 

Konoha can’t help it, he barks out a loud laugh and Bokuto grins at this, contented. “But,” Bokuto continues, causing Konoha’s laughter to die down. “Akaashi is my current commitment. If I’m going to live til 130, I’m going to make sure he lives til 129 with me.” 

Konoha’s eyes widen. “He means that much to you?” 

“Yeah, man. I care for him a lot - even if it’s just platonic. Because he has been through so much, Konoha. I hope you don’t blame him for being sensitive or whatever, because he’s not.” Bokuto says, voice low and serious. Konoha can’t help but shudder. “He’s really strong, but there are times where he breaks and it hurts me every single time. I can’t tell you exactly what’s bothering him - that’s for Kaashi to tell you - but I just want you to know that he’s breaking inside, Konoha.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” Konoha can’t help but ask because he’s really confused. He’s messed up  _ once _ and yet, Bokuto is out here telling him things about Akaashi that Konoha feels like he shouldn’t know. 

“Because I trust you, Konoha.” 

“Yeah, but why?” 

“I know you care about Keiji as much as I do!” Bokuto beams. “Not as  _ much _ , but I can see it in your eyes that you care about him a  _ lot _ .” 

“I do,” Konoha whispers. 

“I don’t know what you’re going through,” Bokuto continues. “And I think you’re going through some stuff that are just as heavy as Akaashi’s are. But Konoha, do tell me,” Konoha looks up to Bokuto then and his bright golden eyes burn into Konoha’s, causing yet another chill to run down his spine. “Do you really think that two broken souls can’t mend each other together?” 

\--

  
  


When they went back to Akaashi’s room, Kuroo was already helping him up. His stuff was packed in the duffel bag and they are set to leave. 

“I can send you guys home,” Konoha says. “I took my car.” 

“Ohoho, fancy pharmacist man to the rescue!” Kuroo exclaims and the rest of the boys look at him like he just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “ _ What _ ?” he demands, perplexed by the response. 

-

After dropping off Bokuto and Kuroo at the team’s dormitories, the silence that’s filling the air in the small compartment of his car is enough to make Konoha want to jump out. He feels trapped, and he wants so badly to break the eerie silence, but he knows that one wrong word slipped will be enough to break everything that Konoha is trying to build. 

They don’t talk for the rest of the trip to Akaashi’s apartment. The only time Konoha spoke was to ask for his keys, which Akaashi gave him wordlessly. 

Akaashi’s apartment is the same as they left it: haphazard. Akaashi lets out a sigh and moves to pick up the pillows on the floor and begins fluffing it. Konoha puts their bags on the floor and grabs his wrists softly, causing the other to jolt in surprise. 

“What are you-” 

“Go rest,” Konoha says, pointing his chin to his room. “I’ll clean up here.” 

“But this is-” 

“Your apartment, I know,” he replies, letting go of Akaashi’s thin wrist. “But you need the rest and I’m used to cleaning up. I’m good at it, if you’re worried about that.” 

“I don’t want to feel indebted,” Akaashi confesses, voice low and soft. 

Konoha’s eyes soften. “I’m doing this genuinely, Akaashi. I’m not asking for repayment or for you to pay me back with another favour or anything. It’s genuine.” Akaashi  _ finally  _ looks up to him and his eyes begin to search the latter’s face, hoping to see a teasing smile on or a smirk or anything that shows that he’s lying. That he’s joking and is just using the things he told him as excuses but all Akaashi could see in those deep green eyes are honesty and genuinity. 

“Honest,” Konoha insists with a small smile on his face and Akaashi finds himself smiling as well. 

“Fine,” Akaashi breathes out. He steps back, suddenly feeling so small and realizing that the space between them was also small. “I’m going to, uh, rest now.” 

Konoha replies with a nod and turns to pick up the scattered papers, a box of tissue paper and the TV remote with its batteries out. 

-

Akaashi comes out of his room hours later, looking well rested and fresh out of the shower. Konoha scrunches his nose at himself— he probably smells like shit since he hasn’t showered since yesterday and now the day is almost ending. 

“Do you need the shower, Konoha-san?” Akaashi asks. Konoha notes that his voice doesn’t sound as weak and fatigued as before. 

_ Good. _

“I’ll just shower at home later.” Konoha shrugs. 

“You’re going home?” 

“Once I know you’re asleep, yes.” 

Akaashi blinks and bites his lips, contemplating. “You can stay,” he whispers and Konoha almost misses it. 

“Ah,” Konoha replies, scratching his cheeks. 

“Bokuto-san’s room is there,” Akaashi continues, pointing to the door with ridiculous stickers. “You can stay there since he’s not around for the next two weeks.” 

Konoha raises his brow. “I can stay, but are  _ you _ okay with me being here?” 

The younger shrugs. “Bokuto-san would kill you if he hears you left me alone,” he says nonchalantly, heading towards his kitchen. “Think what’s best for you, I guess.” 

_ I’m thinking what’s best for you, you idiot.  _ “Okay then.” 

Silence. 

-

Entering Bokuto’s room, he’s shocked to see how tidy everything was and takes in the room. There’s medals hanging on the corkboard, trophies on  _ two  _ different shelves, and there are tons of mangas stacked neatly on top of each other next to his bed. There’s posters of Japan’s national volleyball team and other clubs, some anime that Konoha recognizes, and his eyes linger on the one section of the wall where polaroids are taped. 

He steps in closer and there he sees Bokuto in all of them. There are many faces he doesn’t recognize but they’re mostly his old teammates and schoolmates. There are pictures of him and his family too, standing in front of famous landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and on top of Machu Picchu. Most of the pictures are with Akaashi. He spots a baby picture of the two of them holding hands with Akaashi’s eyes shyly looking sideways and Bokuto smiling his signature beaming smile while giving a peace sign. There’s Akaashi in his middle school volleyball attire next to Bokuto and there are birthday pictures from every year. Konoha’s ridiculously endeared by little Akaashi. 

“Bokuto-san enjoys collecting pictures,” he hears from the door. 

“I can see that.” Konoha smiles, still looking at a particular picture of a solemn Akaashi behind a birthday cake with a number 10 candle on top, party hat on sideways with Bokuto hugging him. “You look really cute here.” 

Akaashi snorts. “I never smile in any of my pictures. I don’t see what’s so cute about that.” 

Konoha frowns, scanning the collage again. “Ah hah!” he exclaims, pointing a finger on a polaroid picture. “You’re smiling here! Look!” 

Akaashi sighs and takes slow steps towards him. “Ah, my first volleyball game at Nekoma.” 

“When was this?” Konoha asks, heart tugging in his chest looking at Akaashi’s soft smile. He was squished between Bokuto and Kuroo, the two wrapping their arms around him, both putting up a peace sign. 

Akaashi swallows. “My third year.” 

Konoha blinks. “Your first game during your third year? You didn’t play during your first and second year?” Suddenly sensing tension from Akaashi, Konoha quickly turns to look at him. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable with it yet.” 

The younger lets out a relieved sigh. “I’ll leave you to settle in.” 

Konoha nods and hears the door click shut. His eyes land on Akaashi’s smiling picture and his heart warms. “If only you could see me now, Kaori.” 

\--

  
  


Konoha woke up the next day feeling well rested. Bokuto’s bed was incredibly comfortable and he found himself sleeping like the dead as soon as his head hit the pillows. He gets out of bed to grab his toothbrush and face wash and makes his way to the bathroom a few doors away from Bokuto’s room. As soon as he opens the door, Akaashi walks out of his room, too, hair mused and yawning as he rubs his eyes sleepily. 

Konoha’s heart skips. 

“Good morning,” he greets softly. Akaashi replies with a hum. 

And that’s the only thing Konoha says to him all morning. 

-

As afternoon rolls in, Akaashi is still as distant as ever. Konoha makes sure he doesn’t walk to the pantry to take out any coffee beans or tea bags and he makes sure Akaashi takes all (prescribed) medications. Konoha cooked some omurice and Akaashi thanked him quietly. Silence filled the room once again. 

It’s ridiculous, Konoha thinks, because he’s so close. He’s so, so close to Akaashi - he’s  _ right  _ in front of him - yet, at the same time, he’s  _ so  _ far. 

So out of reach. 

So untouchable. 

Konoha sighs. He doesn’t know if he can stand this anymore. He doesn’t know if his efforts are getting him anywhere. Akaashi isn’t even giving him a chance to  _ try. _ Why would he-

A notification on his phone breaks him out of his trance. 

**From: Bokuto Koutarou**

_ > i can hear u overthinkin _

_ > hows kaashi _

**To: Bokuto Koutarou**

_ > wasn’t doing that _

_ > we’re eating lunch now _

_ > 12312.jpg _

“What are you doing?” Akaashi says, eyes wide. 

“I’m just sending a picture to Bokuto,” Konoha reassures him and places his phone in front of Akaashi’s face. “See?” 

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “He could’ve just texted me.” 

Konoha shrugs. 

**From: Bokuto Koutarou**

_ > aw man i miss him!!!!!!!!!! _

_ > 12983.jpg _

_ > we miss hiM!!!!!! _

The picture Bokuto sent was of him and his teammates. A guy with fluffy brown hair behind Kuroo sticking his tongue out and winking while putting up a peace sign, Kuroo with his tongue out, a guy who looks like he could kill you with his glare, and a small orange haired boy next to him and Bokuto was up front, smiling wide as always. Konoha shows the picture to Akaashi. 

He watches as a big smile makes its way to his face and his eyes glimmer. Konoha finds himself smiling, too. Akaashi makes grabby hands and Konoha raises his brow. Realizing that Akaashi was asking for his phone, he gives it to him. He watches as Akaashi puts his phone up, their faces on the screen. 

“Please smile, Konoha-san. You look like you’re having a horrible time taking care of me,” Akaashi retorts and Konoha snorts. He puts up a peace sign and smiles as well with Akaashi copying him. 

Akaashi sends the picture and types before giving back Konoha’s phone. 

**To: Bokuto Koutarou**

_ > 14984.jpg _

_ > I’m having fun with Konoha-san, Bokuto-san.  _

_ > I miss you all as much.  _

_ > _ _ 😊 _

Konoha grins. Akaashi is a damn fantastic liar. 

-

On the fifth day of Akaashi’s rest day, he breaks. 

And Konoha witnesses it first hand. 

He hears the sound of things falling at first, and then there’s a thump on the wall next to his room. He ignores it and puts a pillow over his head, thinking it was Akaashi’s lousy neighbours. It’s not until he hears the sound of a scream that he jumps out of bed and runs out to Akaashi’s room. 

He tries turning the knob but fails. 

Fuck. 

He pounds on the locked door, heartbeat ringing in his ears. “Akaashi, open the door!” 

“Get away from me!” Akaashi screams from the other side. The sound of an impact on the door is enough to make Konoha jump. 

“Akaashi, I’m going to have to bust open this door if you don’t open it,” Konoha tells him, trying his hardest to sound calm. 

“Get out!” Akaashi screams again. 

That does it. He’ll pay for the damages he’s done later. 

Konoha runs into the door, shoulders first. It took a lot of time and effort but after the fifth try, he managed to bust it down. 

Akaashi’s room is a  _ mess _ . His bed is on the floor, his sheets are on the far corner of his room, and his pillows are all over as well as his clothes. His books are ripped into pieces, the paper pieces littered. Akaashi is curled up on the floor, arms to cover his ears and he’s pulling on his hair. Konoha runs straight to him and gently holds him. 

“Akaashi,” he whispers. Konoha’s heart is breaking so hard. Akaashi was trembling, screaming and crying and he’s thrashing in his arms but Konoha is stronger and he holds him tight, pulling his face into his bare chest. It’s wet with tears and snot but Konoha can’t care about that now. 

“Akaashi, listen to me,” Konoha whispers, rubbing Akaashi’s back in soothing circles. “Focus on my voice, okay? You’re okay. You’re fine. Nothing is happening right now. I’m here. There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore. You’re not alone, alright? I’m real and I’m here. Can you listen to me?” He feels Akaashi nodding, but he’s still crying hard.  _ Progress.  _ “Good, keep listening to my voice, alright? You’re doing great.” Konoha finds Akaashi’s trembling hands and intertwines it. “Can you squeeze my hand, Akaashi?” There’s a soft squeeze and Konoha smiles. “That’s good, you’re doing really amazing.” 

He can feel Akaashi calming down now and his cries now only come out as soft sobs. Konoha doesn’t stop rubbing circles on his back and he doesn’t let go of his hand either. Once he feels Akaashi relax in his arms, he scoops the latter up - albeit struggling a bit - and opens the door to Bokuto’s rooms. He places Akaashi on the bed and sits down on the floor next to him. He brushes Akaashi’s bangs away from his eyes and caresses his cheek using the back of his hand. 

He sees Akaashi’s chest rise and fall steadily and gets up, but then he’s stopped by a grip on his wrist. “Where are you going?” Akaashi rasps out. 

Konoha smiles at him and crouches down. “I’m going to take a glass of water for you. I’ll be right back, alright? I’m just going to the kitchen, okay?” 

Akaashi nods and Konoha smiles at him again. 

When Konoha comes back to the room, Akaashi is snoring lightly. He sits down next to him and sees Akaashi’s eyes flutter open. Konoha’s heart is breaking again at the sight of him. His eyes are bloodshot and they look  _ so  _ tired. But most of all, it looks  _ empty. _ It looks like his whole life has been sucked out of him. 

“Hey,” Konoha whispers, brushing his bangs again. “Are you feeling okay?” Akaashi only blinks at him. He hands him the drink and puts it in his shaking hands. “Drink, alright? Won’t want you dehydrated.” 

Akaashi takes it slowly and takes slow gulps. Konoha watches intently. 

“Do you want to sleep now?” Akaashi shakes his head. “Do you want some snacks? More drinks?” Another shake. Konoha sighs, hesitating on asking the next question. “Do you want to be alone?” Another shake. 

“I want to,” Akaashi whispers. Konoha moves his head closer so he can hear him better. “I want to talk about it.” 

Konoha widens his eyes and his mouth drops. “Are you sure?” he asks, shock evident in his voice and Akaashi nods. 

“You’ve seen it,” Akaashi quietly replies, fiddling with his fingers. “I guess I owe you an explanation.” 

“You don’t owe me anything, Akaashi.” 

“I want to,” Akaashi presses, putting his hands on top of Konoha’s. His skin burns from the touch. “I want you to know.” 

Akaashi scoots in the bed, giving Konoha more space to sit next to him. Slowly and hesitantly, he puts himself under the covers and he can feel Akaashi’s cold feet. When he looks at Akaashi, he realizes that the other is blushing, eyeing his chest. He looks down and-

“Oh shit, I’m still half naked!” Konoha scrambles out of the bed and picks up a t-shirt on the floor. He seems satisfied with it at first, then realizes that it’s inside out. “Fucking hell!” he curses out. He can hear Akaashi laughing softly as he struggles with taking his shirt off and it makes him feel even more at peace. Once he’s dressed, he moves to tuck himself under the covers again. Akaashi gives him a look before moving slowly towards him and oh,  _ oh, Akaashi wants to cuddle.  _

Konoha opens his arms and Akaashi gives him an appreciative smile before moving in, making himself comfortable in Konoha’s arms. The warmth radiating from Konoha’s body is enough to make Akaashi let out a satisfied sigh. 

Running his hand through his hair, Konoha lets Akaashi take his time. They have all day and there is no need to rush Akaashi into telling him something very personal. 

“During the end of my second year, I came out.” Akaashi says, voice soft, fiddling with his fingers. He takes in a long breath before continuing and Konoha finds himself tensing too. “I thought it would be fine. My family has never been against the whole gay or bisexual or anything like that. They seemed fine. I don't know what I did wrong but the moment the words left my mouth, for some reason I felt like I could see their whole life crumbling down. It’s understandable, I suppose. Their only son who’s supposed to grow up being the most picture perfect son, who’s supposed to look “normal” in the eyes of the public— but he turns out to be “different” from the rest.

“Days and weeks pass by and I keep receiving the cold shoulder from both my parents. Desperate for support, I came out to my school friends as well. That definitely took the cake since the treatment I got at school got so bad. The worst thing is that my parents seemed like they didn't care about me either.

“A few weeks pass and with every passing day, the stares and the whispers become unbearable. Some started getting very brave and began throwing insults right in front of my face. Seeing that I’m incapable of doing anything back, things started to get—“ Akaashi shudders, hugging his knees to his chest closer. “—physical.” 

Konoha loosens the grip then, afraid to trigger any sort of bad memories for Akaashi when he touches him. Choosing to stay quiet, Konoha continues brushing Akaashi’s hair to let the latter know that he’s still here and he’s still going to listen to whatever he is going to say. 

“At home,” Akaashi continues, voice muffled by his knee. “My parents saw my bruises and I swore I could see their lips turn up, as if they were telling me  _ “this is what you get” _ and  _ “this is what you deserve” _ . It hurt knowing that they no longer care about me, not even when I was physically hurt.” 

Konoha hears the crack in his voice and out of instinct, he pulls Akaashi closer and lets him cry again. It takes time before Akaashi’s crying dies down but Konoha waits. He would  _ always  _ wait for Akaashi. 

“It was hard, because for the first time in my life, I felt so  _ alone. _ Bokuto-san was already in Tokyo by then and I hadn’t told him what was happening to me, unless I want him to travel back to Miyagi and leave volleyball behind. I can’t handle that. I know Bokuto-san will drop everything for me and I didn’t want to get in the way of anything. So, for months, I endured the beating, the glares, the words that haunt me til this very day for  _ months _ . Summer of that dreadful year, I ran away.”

Akaashi takes a deep breath. “I saved up and took some of my parent’s money. I didn’t care anymore. All I wanted to do was to run away and get away from Miyagi. I barely had enough for a bullet train to Tokyo though, so I biked my way through.” Konoha’s eyes widened at this, knowing how awfully far apart Tokyo and Miyagi are. “It took me  _ days _ , and when I finally reached Tokyo, I parked my bike in an alleyway and passed out. God knows how long I passed out there. That’s when Kuroo-san’s friend, Yaku, found me. How much of a coincidence was that, huh?” Akaashi scoffs. 

“By the time I woke up I was in a hospital and Bokuto-san was crying next to me, blabbering nonsense. He didn’t stop crying even when I was awake to the point that he had to be sent out. I can’t blame him— I’d also cry if I saw my best friend with bruises all over their body found passed out in the  _ streets _ , for fuck’s sake.

“I had to stay in bed all summer, and thank God Bokuto-san was on break so he took care of me. I stayed with Kuroo’s boyfriend at the time, Kenma, and by the end of summer break, I was healthy and stable enough for school so I went with Kenma. I managed to get myself in a decent enough university, and when Bokuto-san got scouted, he got this apartment for us.” 

Akaashi stares at nothing in particular in front of him, but Konoha knows he is just deep in the flow of their conversation. “After a few months, I got _slightly_ better, to say the least. But knowing I’m no longer alone, I felt safer. _Feel_ safer, and I know Bokuto-san will always protect me. That’s why I’m particularly clingy to him. He’s my safe haven, the one person I can run to for _anything_ and he would _never_ complain. He’s never left my side _ever_ , and it took me days to convince him that I was okay if I was left alone. Because Bokuto really skipped his volleyball training just to stay for me, and it’s _too_ _much_. Even when I’m haunted by these nightmares when he goes away to travel, I never tell him. That was until he found me when he came home from a week of travelling. And ever since then, well, it’s even harder to convince him I was doing fine.” 

Akaashi sighs. “There are still days where it’s incredibly hard for me to shut those voices and thoughts out. But I’m trying, Konoha-san. I promise you I’m trying. But there are days— days like this where it all just comes crumbling down, and I just— I need-” 

“Bokuto?” Konoha offers gently, to which Akaashi nods. 

“But—“ the younger starts, shimmying away from Konoha’s grasp and he tries to ignore the pain. “—but I think you can take care of me just as well. Right, Konoha-san?” Akaashi’s shining eyes were wide and so vulnerable. 

Konoha doesn’t reply. Doesn’t know  _ what  _ to reply so he only moves to hug him tighter. 

He can’t tell Akaashi that he’s afraid. Not when Akaashi’s breaking right in front of him and he’s scared of something so small and stupid. 

\--

By the time Konoha feels the rise and fall of Akaashi’s chest, he carefully slips out of the younger’s grip. He takes his box of cigarettes and makes his way to the balcony. The sun is peeking over the horizon, colouring the previous dark sky with hues of bright orange and pale yellow. He sucks in a deep breath and lets out a thin smoke, swallowing the slightly bitter and minty aftertaste of tobacco in his mouth. 

_ You can take care of me just as well. Right, Konoha-san? _

Fucking hell. 

Konoha takes another long drag, then pinches the cigarette bud too hard until it goes limp in his mouth. He’s lost in his thoughts. The images of Akaashi in high school, struggling alone, haunts his mind and he doesn’t even notice that his cigarette is at its end before he feels the burn on his lips. 

With shaky lips, he lets out a soft sigh and rests his head on the cold railing of the balcony. The sound of cars are already filling the city, signaling him that people are already waking up to start off their days and Konoha’s just standing there. Stuck. 

His legs are about to give out from exhaustion and he thinks he might fall asleep standing there, but then he feels a pair of arms wrapping around his waist. His eyes shot open and he stood straight. 

“Akaashi,” he whispers, feeling Akaashi rest his chin on his shoulder. He tries to not shudder at the warmth of Akaashi’s breath near his ear. “I just smoked.” 

“I don’t mind,” Akaashi replies nonchalantly. 

“But you don’t like the smell.” 

“I don’t mind if it’s you, Konoha-san.” 

Konoha is so,  _ so fucked.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second to last chapter guys!! i know this was heavy but i’m hoping that this explains their fears and past and what they’re dealing with? Ahhh. 
> 
> Last chapter tomorrow <3 thank you so much for reading and as usual, kudos and comments on how I should improve my storyline are really appreciated!!


	3. the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At this, Akaashi only hums. Konoha bites into his chopsticks out of habit before adding, “Why Autumn, though?”
> 
> “Because it’s your name, Akinori.” Akaashi smiles, soft and fond and so full of love and it makes Konoha’s heart pause for a minute.

Konoha was supposed to return to work later that week, but he’s not taking any chances of leaving Akaashi alone at home. Not after what he saw. Until Bokuto returns from camp, only  _ then _ will he leave Akaashi.

  
Things with Akaashi became slightly less… tense after that night, which makes Konoha both thankful and terrified for what’s going to happen between them. He tries not to think about it too much, though. As Sarukui has texted him,  _ just go with the flow _ — or whatever the hell that shit meant. 

Despite his confusing feelings, Konoha tried his best to  _ go with the flow _ — and he’s doing a wonderful job. 

He thinks. 

That is until one dreadful day, when Akaashi asks him, “Did Bokuto-san talk you into taking care of me, Konoha-san?” He’s rubbing the hem of his shirt with his thumb and index finger. “You don’t have to force yourself to be here, you know.” 

“I know that.” Konoha replies. “I know that, that’s why I’m  _ not _ doing that.” Konoha finally tears off his gaze from the television where a drama is playing to look at Akaashi. He couldn’t even focus from the moment he noticed Akaashi fidgeting. “I told you that I’m doing everything because I want to. Even if Bokuto didn’t ask me to, I would  _ still  _ do it.” 

“Is it because of guilt, then?” Akaashi presses. “Are you doing this because you feel guilty for rejecting me the night of our date?” 

“I wasn’t rejecting you.” 

“Then- then what the fuck were you  _ doing,  _ Konoha-san?!” Akaashi half-yells, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence. “Why would you act as if you l-like me for o-one second—“ He pauses to take a shuddering breath. 

“And-and the next thing I know is you won’t even—“ Another shuddering breath. “—You won’t even _look_ me in the _eye,”_ Akaashi cries in his hand and Konoha swallows thickly, unable to move, not _knowing_ what to do. “Do I disgust you, too?” He finally whispers and Konoha’s eyes widen, realizing where all of this is leading to. “Are you _disgusted_ because I like you, Konoha-san?” 

At this, Konoha finally swallows all his fear and forces himself to think about if Akaashi is going to hate him or not  _ later _ for what he’s about to do. He pulls the other into an embrace, letting him thrash and punch him on his chest and his shoulder. He feels Akaashi grip his shirt so hard to the point that he feels like it was going to rip, but he holds him still— hoping that Akaashi can feel his sincerity from the action. Konoha has never been a man of his words, afterall. 

“I would  _ never _ be disgusted with you, Akaashi,” he voices in the younger’s hair. “I would never ever feel that. I like you too much to feel that way.” He feels Akaashi tense in his arms and his sobs slowly but surely dying down. 

Konoha continues, “I was—” He pauses to swallow his pride, his ego and his  _ stupidity.  _ “—I was afraid you might leave me, Akaashi. I could never be good enough for someone as amazing as you, you know. You’re everything I’m not, and I could never give you anything good in your life. I’m not blaming you, but I believe things were going too fast between us. I’m still healing from something stupid in the past, and I want to be fully ready to be able to accept you.” 

“I want us to be perfect, Akaashi,” he murmurs, feeling the tears threatening to leave his eyes as well, but he blinks and lets them fall. “For now, I don’t think I’m worthy of being the one for you. Seeing how much Bokuto cares for you and loves you, it made me more insecure. I could never be Bokuto, and Bokuto is what you need right now, right?” 

“Konoha-san,” Akaashi calls him, voice muffled by Konoha’s chest. 

“Yeah?” 

“You’re stupid,” is all he says. Konoha’s eyes widen in surprise and he lets out a bark of laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks. Akaashi pulls away from his embrace to look at him in the eyes. “Are you Bokuto-san?” 

Konoha blinks his eyes. “Huh?” 

“Are you Bokuto-san?” he repeats. Konoha tilts his head. 

“No m, I’m Konoha.” 

“ _ Exactly,” _ Akaashi exhales out. “You are Konoha-san. Bokuto-san is Bokuto-san. If I was expecting a love like Bokuto-san, I would’ve been with him by now.” 

Konoha blinks again, too dumbstruck to let out anything so he simply lets out a “huh?” to which Akaashi rolls his eyes at. 

“Konoha-san, I like you for  _ you, _ and I will continue liking you for  _ you. _ I don’t need you to act like Bokuto-san or give me something similar like him to like you. Bokuto-san has given me those, why do I need more of that?” Akaashi takes his hands that he doesn’t even realize are shaking. “I want you to like me in your own terms, Konoha-san. And I’m willing to wait for you to be ready for me, no matter how long it takes.” Akaashi smiles, eyes crinkling. Konoha wants to wipe his tears away, so he does and Akaashi leans into the touch. “If you want us to go slow, we can do that, Konoha-san. You could’ve told me, you know.” 

“I..” Konoha is at loss for words. What the  _ fuck _ does he say after all that? No one has ever treated him this way. “I never thought of that.” 

“Maybe it’s because you’re too scared to do anything regarding your feelings,” Akaashi scoffs, causing Konoha to laugh again. “Maybe if you stopped running and told me what’s bothering you instead, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” 

“I think we’d have this situation either way, Akaashi,” he remarks in a teasing manner, making Akaashi roll his eyes.

Akaashi falls into his chest again after Konoha wipes off his tears with his thumb. He begins to fiddle with Konoha’s sleeve now, legs wrapped around Konoha’s waist. “What are we going to do now?” he asks, cheek on Konoha’s shoulder. 

“We’ll heal,” Konoha answers simply. “We’ll learn to heal together and we can think of what’s going to happen later. I want to take this slow, if it’s okay with you.” 

He can feel Akaashi smile on his shoulder and he grips on the younger’s waist tighter. “Of course, Konoha-san,” Akaashi softly says, so softly that only Konoha can hear him. “I’ll always wait for you.” 

\--

  
  


If you ask Konoha what’s the best day of his life, he’s going to look you in the eyes, give you the smuggest smile with the brightest glint in his eyes, and tell you that  _ today  _ is the best day of his life. 

Not only is he going to have dinner with Akaashi later that night, he managed to sneak out for lunch with said man after Sarukui agreed to cover up for him (even though his lunch was supposed to end  _ two  _ hours ago). Bokuto and Kuroo also managed to join them at the very last minute and agreed to play volleyball with them later that day, with Akaashi agreeing to go to the games before dinner. There is adrenaline pumping in his veins knowing that he’s going to play alongside  _ professional athletes _ — his already busted ego is combusting even more, but positively. 

He and Akaashi are doing a good job “ _ taking things slow”  _ as well. It’s been a few months and there are lingering touches, words whispered between them, and Konoha is more than glad that Akaashi is willing to take the time to really understand him and his stupid past. 

All in all, Konoha’s day was going fine.  _ Terrific,  _ even. 

That is until the devil steps in his way in the form of Terushima Yuuji. 

“Ah!” the blond man exclaims upon seeing him. “You’re Kaori’s ex! Kohano!” 

“Konoha,” he corrects the man. “It’s Konoha.” 

Terushima lets out a laugh that is more obnoxious than genuine. Konoha can’t help but bite his tongue to stop any petty remarks from coming out. He is a  _ nice person _ . Even to his ex’s boyfriend who he was cheated on with. 

“Right, right. Man, what a small world! We went looking for you all over Fukuoka. When did you arrive in Tokyo?” 

“It’s been three years.” Konoha shrugs.  _ Where is the fucking bus, why is it taking so long, why is it never on time, how do I stop him from talking - _

“Ah! After Kaori broke up with you?”

Konoha swallows the sour taste in his mouth. “ _ I _ broke up with her.”

Terushima flashes him a smirk that was meant for clubs, one-night-stands, and gel wax advertisements. “You ran away either way.”

Konoha feels his gut twisting in his stomach in disgust 

as Terushima lets out another obnoxious laugh. He can’t even pull off the customer-service smile that he often brings in his professional line of work anymore. Deciding to be the bigger person instead, he asks, “Why are you here?” 

“Kaori and I broke up, actually!” Konoha quirks his brow, not knowing why Terushima is telling  _ him _ of all people, as if he fucking cares. “But it’s fine, though! We’re super cool now and she told me she’s really lonely, so she practically begged us to stay friends.” Konoha’s brow rises further up. Terushima wasn’t still answering his question, afterall. “Anyway! We came here looking for you since you weren’t in Fukuoka. She’s in the bathroom, actually, so she should be here-”

Terushima was cut off by a figure pushing him aside, and the said figure engulfed Konoha in a tight hug. He recognizes the perfume and shampoo almost instantly. 

“I’ve missed you,” Suzumeda sighs against his chest. Konoha wants to push her away, maybe push her back into Terushima’s stupid arms, but his arms were locked and  _ what the hell, has Suzumeda always been  _ this _ strong?! _

“Get  _ off _ me, Suzumeda.” 

The girl stubbornly shakes her head and Konoha is sending a look towards Terushima that was a mixture of annoyance and pleading, silently begging him to help get rid of the girl from his body. The bastard just gives them a smug grin, putting his thumbs up. Konoha is  _ really  _ going to punch him in the face one of these days. Maybe right now. Yeah, right now sounds really fucking good. 

“Suzumeda, I'm serious! Get off me!” 

Suzumeda lets out a huff and lets go reluctantly. Konoha lets out a sigh of relief that has proved to be short-lived when a pair of lips was suddenly covered with his own. His eyes widen in surprise as he feels the lipgloss-covered lips meet his, and he’s too stunned to pull away or push her away that he just stands there like the fucking dumbass he is. 

“Konoha-san?” 

A chill runs down his spine. 

_ Shit.  _

_ Shit! _

Konoha  _ finally _ pushes Suzumeda away, but it’s too late. He reacted far too late because Akaashi was there, standing with his eyes wide. His gym bag dropped to the ground with a thud and Konoha’s feet are moving faster than ever, chasing him down the streets. He could hear Suzumeda calling out to him but he couldn’t pay her mind. No, he needed Akaashi to know that it was a mistake, that it’s not his fucking fault.

He needs Akaashi to  _ know _ . 

Konoha - by some miracle despite not having been to the gym for far too long - finally managed to grab Akaashi by the wrist in the middle of the bustling streets of Tokyo. Biting his lips, he drags Akaashi to an alley, away from prying eyes despite the younger’s protests. 

“Get  _ off  _ me,” Akaashi snarls, furiously trying to shake off his wrist free. Once Konoha let go, the same hand makes a harsh contact to Konoha’s face, causing him to turn away both from the force and shock. “Don’t you  _ fucking dare _ put your hands on me ever again.” 

Konoha forces himself out of his shock and blinks back up at the other. “A-Akaashi, it’s not what you think it is!” 

Akaashi lets out a sarcastic laugh, scoffing and putting his hands on both of his hips. Konoha notices that his eyes are glossy and full of rage. Somehow he still looks incredibly breathtaking. “Why, tell me, Konoha-san. What  _ else _ would you be doing back there, liplocking with a random girl at the fucking bus stop?!” 

“Suzumeda kissed  _ me _ . I did  _ not _ initiate it, Akaashi, I swear-” 

“ _ Who _ ?” Konoha’s eyes widened, realizing his mistake. “Konoha-san, that was your fucking  _ ex _ ? The one you’ve been hung up on for the past  _ three  _ years?!” 

“Akaashi-” Konoha tries again, trying to hold Akaashi’s hands to which the younger swats away, hard. 

“Do  _ not  _ touch me,” Akaashi spits, and the words felt like venom against Konoha’s skin. “I thought you kissing a random girl was bad, but your fucking  _ ex?”  _

“Akaashi listen to me-” 

“Do  _ not _ lie to me, Konoha-san!” Akaashi replies, voice so soft and so,  _ so  _ broken. “I just—“

“How is that  _ fair _ , Akaashi?!” Konoha yells, cutting him off and causing a few eyes to fall on them for a few moments before continuing to walk away, obviously unbothered by a couple of guys screaming in an alley. It’s probably nothing new to them.

“ _ She _ came to me out of nowhere! I didn’t know she and her boyf- her dickhead of an ex-boyfriend were here in Tokyo, and now you’re calling me a  _ liar? _ ” __

Akaashi still didn’t seem to buy it. “Why didn’t you  _ push _ her away, then?” 

“I was too shocked to do anything!” 

There’s that sarcastic laugh again and Konoha can’t help but loathe the sound. He liked Akaashi’s genuine laugh more— the one where his eyes crinkle, and the one where he sometimes snorts because he has a hard time trying not to laugh. Konoha especially likes the one where he laughs so hard he doubles over and clutches his stomach, and Konoha would wipe away the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. 

This, the one where he is giving Konoha a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, his orbs darkening as he shakes his head and laughs bitterly— this is not one of his favourite laughs. 

“Is that your excuse, Konoha-san?”

Konoha actually growls and grabs a fistful of his hair, having the urge to just  _ scream _ . “I told you—  _ she _ came onto  _ me _ !” Akaashi looks in disbelief as Konoha leans on the wall and slides down, not caring if the mold on the wall is sticking to his jersey. “I’d never do that to you, Akaashi,” he mutters, loud enough for Akaashi to hear. 

“I didn’t even know she was in Tokyo. I thought she was still in Osaka. I have no updates on her life whatsoever. And then that  _ dumbass _ Terushima came out of nowhere and told me they broke up and became best friends and the next thing I know, she is hugging me and I tell her to get off but she wouldn’t budge and she suddenly  _ kissed _ me.” Konoha paused, breath shaky.

“It was all too much for me and I barely realized what was going on and I  _ swear _ I had nothing to do with this, Akaashi. I swear it!” He finally looks up, albeit his vision is blurry. “I would never do you like that, Akaashi.” 

“Konoha-san.” 

“It’s alright if you hate me, Akaashi. But I swear I had no idea she was here and if I did—“

“Konoha-san.”

“I would push her away immediately! I would never let her cheating lips on mine and  _ I’m _ —“ 

Akaashi’s lips were chapped— they were  _ very _ chapped, but they were so, _ so  _ soft and it’s warm and it felt so incredible and he’s grabbing Konoha’s face so harshly but it’s all soft at the same time, he and his lips, and it’s amazing and—

_ Wait.  _

Akaashi lets go slowly and rests their forehead together, his eyes still closed. When he flutters them open slowly, Konoha feels like the air has been knocked out of his lungs. 

“I believe you,” Akaashi whispers. One of Konoha’s many favourite smiles of his was spreading across his cheeks. “I’m sorry I went overboard, but I believe you,” 

“Akaashi.” 

“Yes?” 

“That was our first kiss.” 

Akaashi’s eyes widen in surprise, his cheeks turning into a brighter shade of red. “I…” He pauses to bite his lips. “I wasn’t aware.” 

“Akaashi!” Konoha whines, dropping his head on Akaashi’s shoulder. “I was going to make it special! I was gonna kiss you tonight when I drop you off in your apartment, you know?!” he groans. 

“Konoha-san,” Akaashi mumbles, rubbing his back in a circular motion. Konoha hums and the younger continues, “Why would you return to the scene of the crime?” 

Konoha blinks confusedly, wondering what the  _ fuck  _ Akaashi was talking about. It took him a while until he remembered the night of their first date, where he had  _ rejected _ Akaashi’s kiss. In front of his apartment. The same thing he was going to do  _ tonight. _ His face burns with embarrassment and hides it in the crook of Akaashi’s neck, causing the other to laugh at him. 

“That’s not nice, Akaashi!”

Akaashi holds him tighter, cheek on top of his head, still rubbing circles on his back.

“Hey, Akaashi?” The younger hums in reply, so Konoha continues, face burning. “Call me Akinori.” 

\--

When they arrive at the gym later,  _ obviously _ late and wrecked, Bokuto’s face went from concerned looking at Akaashi - whose eyes are puffy from all the emotional crying in the alley - to excitement when he sees Akaashi’s hands intertwined with Konoha’s. There was a squeal (Konoha cannot believe such sounds can come out from  _ one man _ ), then a scream (his  _ ears) _ , and then there’s big strong arms engulfing both him and Akaashi, squeezing his lungs.

Bokuto drags Akaashi away - _ literally -  _ and demands him to spill everything. Akaashi looks back at his _ boyfriend _ , silently begging for help but Konoha just gives him a teasing smile. Akaashi pokes his tongue out. 

“So.” Konoha sucks in a deep breath, knowing he can’t escape from Kuroo’s taunting. “After months of pining, you finally did  _ something _ , huh?” His voice reaches him before the man himself. Konoha puts his and his  _ boyfriend’s _ bag on the floor next to the court and begins stretching. “Who made the first move?” 

Konoha scoffs. “Akaashi,” he mumbles. It was loud enough for Kuroo to hear, and as Konoha expected he is barking in laughter. Konoha finds himself laughing along. 

“Don’t laugh now! You!” He points at him. “When are  _ you _ asking your libero out?” Konoha smirks. “At least I’m  _ doing  _ something,” he says, tying his shoes, playing with the aglet. 

Kuroo’s laughter stops abruptly at the mention of Yaku. He rushes forward to clamp Konoha’s mouth shut, causing the other to swat it away, fake gagging. “Shut up, man! I’m still… thinking.” 

Konoha snorts. “ _ Thinking _ .”

“ _ Yes _ , asshole, thinking,” Kuroo retorts, pulling his hand away. “About timing and stuff. It’s complicated.”

“You’re so nosy about my relationship that you don’t even bother fixing your own first.” Konoha still fiddles with the aglet, eyeing his boyfriend from where Bokuto is ruffling his hair, a fond smile on his face. 

Kuroo makes a sound of disgust. “Disgusting. I can see the cupid arrows you’re shooting from your eyes and it’s  _ disgusting. _ ”

“At least I’m eyeing my  _ boyfriend  _ and not my teammate that I’ve been pining over for two years because I’m too much of a pussy to do  _ anything _ ,” Konoha snickers.

Kuroo gasps loudly and places a hand on his heart, another hand still grabbing at Konoha’s mouth. “Akaashi! Your boyfriend is being mean!” 

Akaashi doesn’t even spare him a glance.

-

They played on for what felt like  _ hours _ , but Konoha is having the time of his life, to be honest. They rotate players every now and then and currently, he and Akaashi are on the opposite side of the net, both playing the same position. 

“Now, I must tell you, Keiji,” Konoha sings, giving his boyfriend a playful glare from the other side of the net. “I almost made it to the national team, you know? I could be playing next to Bokuto. As a  _ setter. _ ” 

Akaashi gives him an unimpressed stare, causing Konoha’s eye to twitch. “Mind you, Akinori,” Akaashi drawls, dragging out his words. “I have Bokuto-san in my team and he has been hitting my tosses. _And_ , he is incredibly used to it that he has more power than he does when he hits someone else’s tosses.”

The fact that Akaashi still manages to keep a straight front is amazing to Konoha. Not a single smirk, not even a twitch in the eye. Just passive and stoic and Konoha is incredibly endeared to this beautiful man that it’s unreal. 

“Loser pays for our first official date?” Konoha smirks. 

Finally. 

_ Finally,  _ Akaashi’s lips turn upwards teasingly. “You’re on.” 

-

Konoha’s team did lose, unfortunately, and it has nothing to do with him missing the sets on purpose. It’s not like he was planning his date with Akaashi in his head or anything. He was  _ really  _ focused on the game. 

So he  _ really  _ couldn’t understand why Sarukui is fake kicking him with Komi on top of him, throwing soft punches while Washio is just shaking his head, amused. Bokuto is busy whooping around, excited that he won (fair and square and  _ not _ because Konoha wanted to lose on  _ purpose) _ as he hugs Akaashi countless times and is telling him that his tosses were the best over and over and over again. 

They finally settle down and the gym turns quiet, save for Bokuto who’s trying his best to roll Kuroo with the net. Konoha is more than certain that those shrieks coming from their direction are more of enjoyment than struggle.

“Did you have fun?” Akaashi asks, sitting next to him on the stairs of the gym’s entrance, their shoulders touching. They hear rumbling sounds akin to a stampede behind them as Bokuto and Kuroo rolls past them.

“Yeah.” Konoha smiles. “Haven’t played in a while. Obviously, I was rusty.” 

Akaashi furrows his brows. “You played last week with your colleagues.”

“Ah, you caught me there.” Konoha grins, causing Akaashi to laugh. One of Konoha’s favorites, where Akaashi accidentally snorts as he tries to not laugh. “Do that sound again!” 

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“C’mon! You know! With the little piglet sound! Do it again, Keiji!” 

“I’m not doing it.”

“Keiji,” Konoha whines. “Please!” 

“Maybe when you tell me your lame jokes again,” 

Konoha gapes. “My jokes  _ aren’t  _ lame. You like them!” 

Another snort. 

“There it is! My little piglet!” 

“Akinori, get off me! You’re sweaty!” 

\--

  
  


“Will you calm the fuck down?!” Sarukui snaps, his usual smirk in a frown. “You’ve gone out with the guy 20 million times, why the  _ fuck  _ are you nervous?” 

“Saruman,” Konoha pants, gripping Sarukui’s shoulders hard, causing the other to yelp in pain. “This is our first official date, I want it to go perfect!” 

“It’s just a date, you moron,” Sarukui rolls his eyes. “It’s not like you’re proposing!”

A pause. 

Sarukui widens his eyes. “Aki, you’re not planning to-” 

“I’m not!” Konoha yells, face beat red. “Not tonight at least! Maybe in five years! I’m not rushing!” 

“You’re a wreck. Please go take another shower.”

“I took one half an hour ago?!”

“You’re sweating like a fuckin’ pig, you moron! Go shower!” 

-

It’s not like Konoha is the most romantic person in the world. He’s not  _ Komi,  _ who would write a seventeen lined haiku on why his girlfriend’s eyes are the most beautiful to him. Nor is he his co-worker, who’s been with his boyfriend for nine years and is still going strong because he knows just  _ how  _ to keep the spark alive. 

Konoha has no idea what to do with emotions, he never liked romantic movies, he can  _ never _ write haikus, he can’t cook for shit, and he most definitely has no idea where to take Akaashi on their first  _ official _ date. And he’d rather eat his fist than ask Sarukui for help. God only knows he’s the sappiest one of all, despite being the most single. 

Which is why he ends up driving Akaashi to the beach, drenched in sweat from his nerves and his hands are slipping because of the sweat, too. He is a fucking  _ mess _ . 

“Where are we going?” Akaashi asks, voice dripped in honey. The  _ sweetest _ honey. 

“The beach.” Konoha’s voice breaks, and he coughs it off, embarrassed. “I, uh, managed to get a reservation or something there. I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?” Akaashi repeats, amused. “I thought you had it all planned out after you  _ purposely _ lost the match last weekend, Akinori-san.” 

Akaashi is testing him, but it’s alright. Konoha is a patient man. He is a pharmacist. He can do this. 

“Like you said, Keiji,” Konoha retorts, dragging the ‘i’ in his name. “Bokuto is a strong player and he hits your tosses really well— it doesn’t really surprise me that your team won.” 

Akaashi lets out a hum that signifies he isn’t really convinced, but he seems to let it go. Konoha takes his hand and squeezes it, pulling it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. He’s going to make Akaashi feel so loved tonight. “You look amazing, babe.” 

Akaashi scoffs and squeezes back Konoha’s hand. “So do you, Akinori.” 

-

By the time they reached the beach, it was raining. Hard. Konoha is pouting. 

_ Pouting.  _

“Well, this fucking sucks.” 

He hears Akaashi chuckle next to him and Konoha gives him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, babe, I had it all planned out too and now it’s  _ ruined. _ ” 

Akaashi shakes his head and grabs his face to land a soft kiss on his lips, which he kisses back as gently. 

“I don’t mind going to the konbini we saw just now.” 

Konoha frowns. “It’s our first date and look at how we’re dressed! We deserve to eat at a five star restaurant or something. Oh I know! Bokuto told me about this place-” 

“Akinori,” Akaashi says, voice stern, enough to make Konoha put down his phone. “I don’t care where we go. Heck, we can go outside in the rain right now and I wouldn’t mind because - don’t gag on me now, Akinori - I’m happy whenever I’m with you.” 

Konoha fakes a gag, causing Akaashi to frown at him and he moves in to kiss the pout away. “I’m happy wherever we are too, babe.” 

“We never really got to talk, did we?” Akaashi lowly says, so low that Konoha can’t hear him well because of the rain outside. “I hope you don’t mind having me in your life,” he adds, playing with Konoha’s fingers. “I hope you don’t mind that sometimes I tend to overthink and I’d panic and I don’t want to scare you away. I just hope you’ll be patient with me because I know I’m a lot to handle, but I trust you, anyway. Is that wrong?” 

“Keiji,” Konoha says, smiling gently. “Trusting takes a lot of courage and I’m thankful that you choose to trust me even when I’m not the best person. You know you’re amazing and nothing can compare to you. I feel unworthy but I feel lucky, most of all, to have you in my life.” 

Akaashi suddenly smirks, and Konoha blinks, confused. “I got you to say the cheesiest shit and guess what? I have it recorded, Akinori-san.” 

Konoha gasps and tries to snatch Akaashi’s phone away but his sneaky boyfriend manages to slip it under the seat. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Keiji.”

“Mmm, I am  _ your  _ boyfriend, afterall.” 

—

They eat their ramen in the car in silence, comforted by the soft pattering of the rain outside and each other’s presence. It’s actually nice, Konoha thinks. To hell with that cheesy date at the beach—  _ this  _ is so much better.

“Okay, I have a question,” Konoha says, tucking his leg. “If Bokuto and I are drowning, who would you save?”

At this, Akaashi's hand stops halfway from his mouth. His ramen dangles from his chopsticks and his mouth hangs open as he gives his boyfriend an unimpressed look. “That’s a stupid question and incredibly unrealistic.”

“What?!” Konoha demands. “It’s realistic!”

“You both can swim just fine.” Akaashi shrugs, finally slurping in his neglected ramen.

“Okay,  _ fine.” _

Silence again.

“Alright, I have another question,”

“If you’re gonna make me choose again—”

“What’s your favourite season?”

“Favorite season?” Akaashi blinks, lowering his cup ramen to his lap and takes a tissue to wipe his mouth clean and to hide off a smile. He swirls his ramen around as a way to distract himself so he won’t have to look Konoha in the eyes. 

“Autumn,” Akaashi finally answers, eyes glinting when he turns to Konoha. “I like Autumn.”

Konoha tilts his head at him. “Really?” His eyes widened in surprise. “You look more like a winter kind of guy,” he admits with a chuckle.

At this, Akaashi only hums. Konoha bites into his chopsticks out of habit before adding, “Why Autumn, though?”

“Because it’s your name, Akinori.” Akaashi smiles, soft and fond and so full of love and it makes Konoha’s heart  _ pause _ for a minute. Using his free hand, Akaashi holds Konoha’s cheek, caressing it softly with his thumb. “I like your name a lot.”

_ Fuck. _

“I really want to kiss you,” Konoha says, wetting his lips and inches his face closer to Akaashi.

“Then do it, coward.”

Akaashi’s lips turn into a smirk that Konoha kisses off of him. The soft pattering of the rain outside doesn’t help in calming his nerves. Akaashi makes him feel this way a lot, he realizes.

He’s also  _ so _ in love with Akaashi Keiji that it hurts. But Konoha doesn’t mind the pain. 

Not one bit.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for your information, konoha akinori literally means “autumn leaves” and that thought has never left my mind ever since i found out.
> 
> anyway!!we're here!! we're at the end!! my god this was such a ride! this was one of the hardest chapter i've written but it was also soooo much fun and i'm incredibly happy i made it here!!!!! i'd like to thank soba-san for allllll her help because really, this would not turn as great as it is. i am so so so incredibly happy with how everything turned out and !! if you have made it this far, i want to thank you for joining me in this journey as well. i hope you enjoy this as much as i have written this!!
> 
> as usual, kudos and comments on how i should improve on my writings are always, always welcome! <3
> 
> ya can find me on twitter: @bokuakajpg !!


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